Understanding Polarity of Attraction in Karmic, Twin Flame and Soul Tie Dynamics
Karmic Relationships, Twin Flame & Soul Ties Series
There’s a reason “polarity” becomes such a central theme in alchemical relationships. Because what you’re really balancing isn’t just the dynamic between you and the other person , it’s the dynamic within you.
This is a journey of balance.
Equanimity.
Maturity.
A deep re-education about what love is… and what love is not.
When an alchemical bond is real, it fast-tracks the individuation process. It forces growth in the places we can usually avoid for decades. One of the biggest lessons in that growth is learning how the masculine and feminine forces inside us operate, and how imbalance creates obsession, chasing, push-pull, and suffering.
What “Polarity” Really Means
Polarity is the energetic relationship between the one who pursues and the one who receives.
Not “male and female” in a literal sense — but active and receptive energy.
- Mars is the energy that pursues, acts, pushes forward, tries to secure what it wants.
- Venus is the object of desire, the receptive force, the magnetic force, the one that receives.
When polarity is distorted, the relationship becomes unstable. When polarity is healed, the relationship becomes safe, reciprocal, and life-affirming.
Why the Divine Feminine Starts in Her Masculine Mode
In the beginning of a twin flame or soul tie process, polarity is often flipped:
- The divine feminine (or the receptive figure in the dynamic) is usually in masculine energy: pursuing, chasing, reaching, trying to “land” the bond.
- The divine masculine (or the other polarity) is often in feminine energy: receptive, avoidant, wanting attention, wanting to be chased, being hot/cold, being in-and-out, a player.
Hence, the familiar pattern: feminines who chase and masculines who run.
But this isn’t a “gender” thing, it’s an energetic imbalance, and it usually points back to something deeper:
- self-esteem issues
- validation hunger
- worthiness wounds
- unmet emotional needs
- attachment distress
- parental abandonment complexes
- nervous system disregulation
That’s where the obsession comes from. That’s where the hypervigilance comes from. That’s why it feels so urgent.
The Shift Happens When You Bring Your Energy Home
The divine feminine on this journey goes through a painful but powerful reversal:
Instead of chasing, she learns to receive. Instead of grasping, she learns to allow. Instead of negotiating with what isn’t available, she learns to let it go. This is not passive weakness. This is power. Because when you stop trying to secure what is not secure… you start to become secure. And that’s when the polarity shifts. Not because you “did the right technique.” But because you’re no longer running toward something out of emptiness.
Hypervigilance Is Not Attraction. It’s Control
When you’re in hypervigilance, your system is basically saying:
“I can’t let this get away.” “I need this to stabilize me.” “I need their response to regulate my emotions.”
That energy isn’t magnetic. It’s demanding. Its repellant.
And even if you never say a word out loud, the energetic posture is:
“Be what I need you to be so I can feel okay.” That creates more insecurity, not less.
And once you’re in a relationship under those conditions, the anxiety doesn’t stop, it escalates.
This is why the early phase can become aggressive, emotional, desperate, or controlling.
Not because you’re “crazy.” Because your system is afraid. This is what you’re healing out of.
The Divine Masculine Starts In Weak Masculine Mode
On this journey, the masculine polarity often begins in an immature state:
- emotionally unavailable
- sexually immature
- financially immature
- commitment-avoidant
- using “plutonic tools” to create attachment:
- ghosting
- hot/cold behavior
- obsession loops
- withholding
- control tactics disguised as uncertainty
These are not signs of strength. They are signs of weak masculine energy: the belief that coercion, performance, short cuts, seduction or control are the way to get and keep love. Both people are learning the same lesson: Stop using control. Start using truth. Start using maturity.
The Bend in the Road: Fantasy Shatters
Every alchemical journey reaches a turning point:
You finally see the other person as they are, beyond projection. The illusion breaks.
This is where the path splits:
1) The Karmic Outcome
You see who they are and you realize:
“There is no way.” The relationship ends. The lesson completes. You move forward with your power restored.
2) The Alchemical Outcome
You see who they are : flawed, human , and you still have the opportunity to love without pedestal or fantasy.
This is where unconditional love becomes real. Not love as addiction. Not love as projection. Love as truth.
Why Unhooking Is the Paradoxical Key
This is one of the hardest truths of the journey: As long as you still have an attachment to any kind of outcome with this person…they never change. If there’s still attachment, still tendrils, still emotional “leeching,” still outcome-fixation…the dynamic remains out of reach.
But when you unhook fully, something changes:
- Either the connection returns in a more mature form, because the energy is no longer contaminated by force or need…
- Or the connection does not return because it was never truly resonant to begin with. But now you know. Free from illusion, you will complete the journey as a sovereign individual and come into union with a resonant match.
Either way, you don’t lose. Because you gain yourself.
And what you can magnetize from that receptive, healed state is better than what you were originally willing to settle for. Willing to wait for. Willing to move mountains for. Willing to remain exhausted for.
The Nervous System Tells the Truth
Pay attention to your posture on this journey.
Are you:
- poised, waiting, watching, hoping for the next adrenaline drop?
- wired and tired?
- unable to rest, unable to eat, unable to regulate?
That’s not “love.” That’s nervous system activation and often, it’s showing you exactly what you need to heal.
As healing occurs, the signs are real and practical:
- you sleep again
- you eat regularly
- you relax
- you feel soothed
- you stop planning your life around their mood, their timeline, their availability
- you stop using them as a guardrail for your own choices
That’s how you know you’re nearing the end of codependency thinking. You start living first person again.
The “Boring” Truth About Healthy Love
A lot of people don’t want to admit this part:
When you finally alchemize, compassionate non-attachment can feel… boring at first.
Because you’re no longer living off:
- rupture
- adrenaline
- drama
- push-pull highs
- obsession chemistry
- “prove you love me” dynamicsis with the catalyst that sparked your journey or a equally healed, resonant match- is built on wholeness, trust and abiding peace.
Healthy love is safe. Steady. Peaceful. And if your nervous system hasn’t healed yet, peace won’t feel attractive, it will feel unfamiliar. But peace is the goal. Peace is what real love feels like.
The Truth About This Path
There are a lot of fantasy narratives around Twin Flames and Soul Ties.
Here is the reality:
This path can be the worst thing you’ll ever go through…and it can lead you to the best version of yourself.
So if you’re in it:
Work on your attachment issues. Work on staying with your emotions. Work on soothing yourself. Work on coming home. Because at the end of this process, the relationship you get, whether it with the catalyst that sparked your journey or with an equally healed, resonant match- the divine relationship is built on wholeness, cooperation, depth and abiding peace.
And wholeness within yourself ends the chase.