Understanding Ambivalence
Karmic Relationships, Twin Flames & Soul Ties series
One of the clearest hallmarks of a karmic relationship is ambivalence.
“Should I stay or should I go?”
“Do I want this or don’t I?”
Back and forth. Back and forth.
Ambivalence and confusion almost always travel together. When we’re ambivalent, we’re torn between a part of us that wants growth, freedom, sovereignty, and a part of us that’s afraid, dependent, or unprepared.
This is extremely common in karmic relationships, trauma bonds, and especially in Plutonic or Neptunian dynamics. These are confusion zones. They create the conditions where clarity feels threatening rather than liberating.
Here’s the truth most people don’t want to hear:
Ambivalence doesn’t exist because the answer is unclear
It exists because we are not prepared to act on the answer.
If clarity arrived, action would be required, and often we are not ready for what that action would demand. Emotional independence. Financial responsibility. Loneliness. Grief. Self-regulation. Aging. Reality. So instead, we keep asking the question. We ask friends. We ask readers. We look for someone to say the magic words that will suddenly make the choice easy. But we’re not actually prepared to hear the answer. That’s why even good advice never fully satisfies. We find something wrong with it. Or we say, “I can’t do that.” There is no advice that eliminates all painful outcomes.
In situations of ambivalence, all the options usually suck. If there were a clean, easy, clearly better option, you would already see it. You would allow yourself to see it. Growth begins when we stop waiting for a fairy-godmother outcome and choose the option that “sucks the least.” That choice becomes the starting point.
Astrologically, ambivalence shows up again and again with Moon or Venus in hard contact to Saturn, Neptune, or Uranus. These aspects often describe being ready in one respect and deeply unprepared in another. The confusion serves the parts of us that are not yet able to take care of ourselves fully. So we stay stuck.
Ambivalence clears when we develop the capacity to handle clarity.
That means:
– emotional regulation
– boundary strength
– practical self-sufficiency
– trust in our own feelings and intuition
If you’re stuck in ambivalence, you don’t yet trust yourself. Your emotions and instincts don’t feel like valid information. The first step is learning to consult your own feelings and treat them as real data. They are not wrong.
A powerful reframe for “Should I stay or should I go?” is this:
When I consider the relationship as it exists right now, not its potential, and given my unique hopes and dreams that I have for my life, is this relationship AS IT EXISTS NOW, capable of helping me achieve the vision for my life?
Notice this question does not ask about potential. Potential keeps people trapped. Peace sets people free.
If a relationship cannot support your life as it is and where it’s going, it is not a vehicle for growth. It is a karmic holding pattern. Ambivalence fades as we build the strength, emotionally and practically , to stand on our own. We don’t have to be finished. We don’t have to be perfect. We only have to get far enough along that we can trust ourselves.
Clarity doesn’t arrive when the situation changes. Clarity arrives when we do. …………………………………………………………………………………………………….…………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Struggling with Ambivalence in your life? Contact Jewel for a consultation and get the help you deserve. truthinaspectastrology.com