The inner planets are what we focus on most in synastry and chart comparison because they have a lot to say about how we get along, how we feel about each other and what personal complexes and pathologies we are hooking into with each other. Real Compatibility is way deeper than this. The inner planets show how you get along and feel about each other and that is super important, but Jupiter and the ninth house show how your vision for your lives and your hopes and dreams for your future combine. Saturn is also important because it shows how you practically make your goals and vision come into being but if you don’t have Jupiter and ninth house stuff in agreement , if you don’t have a similar or at least complimentary vision for your lives, you don’t have enough to work with to create a successful relationship.
Vedic astrology understands this very well. That’s why they emphasize the D- 9 chart in compatibility so heavily. This probably comes from their tradition of arranged marriage. They understand that if you match the ninth house and Jupiter stuff, if there is mutual agreement there then it does show happiness and success for a couple regardless of the absent feelings initially of love or attraction or bondedness.
Jupiter and the ninth house describe everyone’s vision for their life and what gives our lives meaning, it’s what gives you hope and makes you able to get out of bed in the morning. Jupiter is also our cultural understanding of morality, right and wrong and law. It’s a lot about culture and what we derive from it. Jupiter is also the superego in psychology. So, abundance, money, education, travel, hope, buoyancy, beliefs, children, religion, sociology, philosophy growth and a woman’s vision of her mate and her married life. All of these things are related and that is why they are are all ruled by the same planet. Jupiter is everything when it comes to enlightenment and on the flip side, the illusion of truth, or evil. Basically, it is the culturally absorbed beliefs that we interpret our experiences through that infuses those experiences with meaning.
So, I mentioned Jupiter is a woman’s vision of a husband. It’s her idea of what abundance and children are, what it is that will increase her own worth in the world.
The Moon describes a mans mate and feelings of security, safety and home and ones emotional needs.
Men, even gay men are looking for their mate figure in the Moon. Sexual preference does not change what the genders are looking for. Lesbians look for Jupiter in their mates , gay males loook for the Moon in their mates. Gay people don’t become the other gender just because they are gay. Gay males are not women and lesbians are not men. Gay people are searching for the same needs to met in relationships as straight people.
So, the Moon and Jupiter are essential to both genders when it comes to compatibility but they describe the different motivation for hooking up that man and women have. Women are looking for an increase and to add an element of adventure to their lives. Men are looking for security, belonging, familiarity and safety. The Moon describes a woman’s link to her parents and the past. For men the Moon is the wife or domestic partner and the Mother and original home, for women the Moon is her parents and the original home. For both genders the Moon is habitual ingrained emotional patterns.
So, the Moon is what we always go back to, what we seek out to soothe ourselves and men look mainly to domestic partners to provide that.
The Moon is also extremely essential to women in the context of relationships and compatibility because we don’t want to be uncomfortable or have things be unfamiliar or going against our emotional requirements but we don’t NEED a domestic relationship to feel secure. Women want hope and increase. Women look to future for their happiness , men look to the past for their safety and to keep things familiar. Jupiter is yet unfamiliar things, the Moon is things that are familiar. Think of the ward “familiar” it comes from the word family- the Moon.
Compatibility is deeper than just feelings and getting along. That is superficial stuff. That can all be changed. The ways in which we are emotionally disturbed or comforted (the Moon) and oh so importantly the ways in which our hopes and dreams and larger vision for our lives combines or doesn’t is actually more important than how we feel and get along. We cannot change what it is that gives us hope. We cannot change and should never be asked to change what gives our lives meaning and what we personally hold up as our God. If you have to give up your God to get the love you want, you’ve got a problem. It won’t last, anyway. The relationship you sell your vision of what your life should look like out for will become a source of misery because it can not replace your God. A man or woman can not replace your God. You need to have a similar understanding of what happiness is, that means your deeper values and understanding of morality need to be in agreement or at least complimentary if they are different. You can be head over heels in love with each other but if you do not have a mutual vision of where you are going and what is right and what gives you hope for your future, then you will not make it. Feelings are not enough. That’s the truth of it. Feelings are not enough to keep you together if you want different things. You need to have these things to be compatible:
You need to have enough superficial inner planet aspects in common or if you have oppositions that CAN be complimentary to your differences and create balance. Too many inconjunctions and squares will create an atmosphere of getting in each others way.
You need to have aspects to each other’s Moons that are not too disturbing and that ideally create familiarity. No aspects are better than purely difficult aspects.
YOU MUST HAVE a similar or if different at least complimentary idea of what you want your individual lives to be and what you want your relationship to look like and stand for. Again, if your vision for your relationship and what you expect your mutual happiness to be derived from is not in agreement, you don’t have enough to work with. This is not found in any exclusive aspects between you, it is an analysis of the entirety of what each of you are about. If you are about the same things, then you can work with any number of difficult inner planet aspects that would otherwise be insurmountable between you. You can have things not in common at the superficial planet level and still make it if you’ve got ninth house stuff. You cannot make it if you don’t have enough ninth house agreement or find you have opposing ninth house understandings and all things perfectly in order at the superficial planet level. This is something most astrologers and books on synastry don’t get.